Forgiveness Isn't Easy
by A Gleeky RENThead
Summary: Rachel and Jesse know they still love each other... but forgiveness might not be as easy as they thought. St Berry. Now a chapter story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N HI AGAIN!**

**I'm not too fond of this little one-shot, but we could all use some more St. Berry.**

**SO HERE YA GOES.**

**If you want me to continue with it (as in Rachel, Jesse, and Finn drama) Than I will. Comment please!**

"Why did you do it, Jesse?"

Those six words caught Jesse St. James off guard. When he agreed to talk to Rachel Berry this afternoon, he just expected her to rant about why he was a back-stabbing, rude person. But these words, filled with genuine hurt and sadness, surprised him.

Why did he egg her and break her heart? He knew he loved her then, and that he still loves her now.

Jesse took a deep breath and looked into her warm, brown eyes. The eyes that he knew so well, that he could easily read. But today, her eyes said nothing except heartbreak.

He prepared an explanation in his head, but as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out.

This didn't make any sense. He couldn't be nervous. Jesse St. James does not get nervous, especially over a girl. A girl that used to make him feel so comfortable, a girl who made him forget everything.

"I thought so." A tear formed in the corner of her eye. "You really hurt me, Jesse. I hope you realize that." She spun on her heel and turned to walk away. Jesse had to hand it to her, the girl always knew how to make an exit.

"Rachel…" He grabbed her arm, trying to regain his thoughts before he lost her again, and this time maybe forever. He wouldn't let that happen again. "I made a mistake."

"You're just saying that. I know who you are… overly competitive Jesse St. James. You'll do anything to win. Even if it meant hurting me."

He watched sadly as the tear fell down her cheek. She was right. He did sacrifice their relationship for Vocal Adrenaline to win Regionals. Even though they ended up winning first place, he still felt empty inside.

"You're absolutely right." Jesse didn't like to admit that he was wrong, but he felt as if it was time.

"I am?" She asked innocently as she wiped the tear away.

He nodded, taking her hand tentatively. She didn't pull back. "I was wrong. I don't know how badly I hurt you, but I do know I hurt myself. We really had something. Something special."

Rachel looked down at their intertwined hands, feeling guilty. "Its nice to hear you admit it. But… I'm with Finn…"

"So?" He smirked.

"Jesse! Relationships are a big deal, and I particularly like being with Finn. He's sweet and… cares about me. If you can't respect that, than I have no purpose in being here." She withdrew her hand and crossed her arms.

Jesse chuckled softly. Rachel hadn't changed at all. "I respect that, but I didn't come back from winning Nationals for nothing, Rachel."

She nodded. "Not everybody has your bad-boy attitude, you know."

"I figured that. Not many people have my charm, either."

Rachel couldn't help but giggle. Jesse had a point. He was charming. And he wasn't afraid to admit it, either. It was one of the many things she liked about him. "No. They most certainly do not."

Jesse lowered his voice. "I still love you, Rachel Berry. I always will."

"I-I-I…" Rachel looked down at her hands, wringing them together nervously.

She wasn't the kind of girl who would cheat, but she definitely still had feelings for Jesse. Why else would she be here right now with a boy who could potentially hurt her? Who has hurt her before in the past? She couldn't do that to her herself again. No, she wouldn't do that to herself again. Or to Finn! She had been trying to build up their relationship all year, and she couldn't just destroy it for Jesse.

But the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach told her otherwise.

"…And I just wanted to say that I apologize for everything." Jesse has been talking, but Rachel was too wrapped up in her thoughts to listen.

"I think… I think I still have feelings for you, too. I don't want to rush into things. Finn means something to me, too. I would never want to hurt him…"

As Rachel trailed off, Jesse leaned down and kissed her.

And she kissed him back.  
-

**A/N Wow... That was shorter than I expected. I'll try to make it longer soon.**

**ANYWAYS...**

**I hope you liked it!**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm baaaaack with a new chapter! **

**It's been a while, but I'm picking up on this again. Hopefully I'll be able to get some more chapters out this week.**

**Bear with me. I've been sick this week, so this isn't my best work. **

**I don't really have anything else to ramble about… so read on!**

"No. Nononono. I didn't just do that. I have a boyfriend, a lovely, caring boyfriend. I'm not a cheater!I have never cheated on anybody in my entire life, nor do I plan on it..."

Rachel seemed to forget Jesse's presence as she frantically paced back and forth. She hated Jesse with all of her heart thirty minutes ago, and she didn't understand how that changed so quickly. Could he really be that persuading? She didn't think so.

"Get yourself together, Rachel. He's the enemy. You can't go around kissing the enemy."

"I'm an enemy again?"

Rachel whipped around to face Jesse, blushing furiously. He had been listening to her rant the whole time, and a small smile was playing at his lips.

"You okay?"

"Of course not!" Rachel snapped at him. "We just had a heated make out session on my bed, while you very well knew I have a boyfriend! It's… it's just not right, Jesse! I…" Her expression suddenly softened as tears filled her eyes. "I cheated on Finn."

She was suddenly coming into realization with her feelings. Finn meant the world to her, but she loved Jesse, too.

Jesse knew exactly how she felt.

"Rachel, you're going to have to make a choice. Hudson is… barely… smart enough to realize you don't love him anymore. You haven't loved anybody since I left."

"And how do you know?" She asked, her voice thick with tears.

He smirked. "I saw you watching Vocal Adrenaline at regionals. Watching _me_ perform. You could have supported your own teammate as she gave birth, but you didn't. You chose to stay. That tells me all I need to know."

"O-oh." She looked down to hide another blush.

"I think you know what you have to do, Rachel."

"I think so." She looked back up, her eyes puffy and red from silently crying, and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

** -THE NEXT DAY-**

"You're breaking up with me?"

Finn and Rachel were sitting in the back of the choir room after rehearsal ended. When Rachel told him she wanted to talk, he had no idea she meant this.

"I knew you would say that. It's the basic break-up scenario. I…I read about it online." She smiled tentatively. He didn't smile back.

"But… I don't get it. I love you, Rach. You love me. I know you do." Rachel could see the anger and hurt in Finn's eyes.

"I'm sorry Finn, but I don't love you anymore." She stood up to leave, wanting to end this quickly, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.

"Is it Puck? God, I knew you would go back to him. I'm such an idiot!" He kicked the closest chair, sending it flying into the piano. Rachel yelped quietly in surprise.

"No, it's not Noah," She whispered, looking at the overthrown chair.

"Then who is it?" He was nearly yelling at her now.

"It's nobody," She wasn't going to tell Finn about Jesse. That couldn't result well, and she wasn't planning on taking those chances anytime soon.

Rachel had never seen Finn this angry before. Well, this angry with her. He was always so gentle and kind, only mad if he made a bad play or hit a bad note in Glee. She had always been able to calm him down, but this time she couldn't. She paused, regretting her words, but then she remembered Jesse. She was doing this for him.

Finn's eyes suddenly softened, and he took her hands in his. Rachel squirmed, trying to pull away, but he tightened his grip.

"What did I do wrong?" He was pleading with her now.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Finn. I just… need to take a break, that's all. We can still be friends."

Finn let go of her hands. "I don't think I can do that. Sorry." He stood up, and without looking back, kicked the piano and left the room.

Rachel watched him leave, tears once more filling her eyes. She truly did care about Finn, but she loved Jesse.

Maybe Mr. Schue wouldn't notice the dent in the piano tomorrow.

Her phone suddenly rang and her Barbra Streisand ringtone filled the choir room. The sound of her idol seemed to cheer her up slightly.

"Hello?"

"How'd he take it?" Rachel was glad to her Jesse's confident voice on the other end of the phone.

"Not very well… but he'll be fine. Finn's strong."

"Good. Are you okay?"

"I will be. I have you."

Rachel could almost hear him smiling. "And I have you."

"I'll see you soon, Jesse."

She hung up, a huge grin spreading across her face. It had only been a day, but it felt like she had been with Jesse for a long time. Everything he had done to hurt her seemed to fade away. Jesse was the only thing that mattered.

Maybe forgiveness would be easy after all.

**A/N: Well, there you go!**

**Questions? Comments? Concerns? Review please. **

**Click that little bugger. You know you want to. **

**More St. Berry soon to come!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again!**

**Wow, it's been a while.**

**This is technically still a rough draft, but I was really eager to get it published (I know, not very professional) because it's been so long since I've updated. **

**And it's basically just fluff. Plot will develop after this chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

Rachel was grateful that the week was finally over. She had to avoid accusing, hateful glares from Finn, along with the rest of the senior student body. Gossip really spread quickly at McKinley High. Although the glee club drama was not often discussed, Jesse was still known as the mysterious, bad boy throughout the school; it was a position that he was secretly proud of and willing to keep. His lasting impact in the school was another large boost to his ego, a boost that he probably didn't need in the first place.

Her teammates, on the other hand, couldn't believe Rachel was dating the enemy yet again. She was ignored by most of New Directions, although Santana had resorted to insulting the smaller girl in advanced Spanish terms. Quinn looked positively murderous. Everybody seemed to be taking Finn's side of the story, which turned her entire club against her.

The singer was glad to be home, curled up against Jesse's chest. He cradled her easily in his arms, as his frame was much larger than hers. They were both staring mindlessly at a documentary about the history of Broadway theatres. Neither of them were paying much attention; they had each seen this program many times previously. As future patrons of the theatre, they both felt as if they needed to be as fully prepared as possible.

Rachel looked up at her new boyfriend. "Jesse?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think we carried this relationship along too quickly? I mean, you showed up, kissed me, and I was head over heels for you again. I'm almost positive that Finn is planning your demise via large monster truck… and I really don't want to see you run over."

Jesse only chuckled, interlacing his fingers with hers. "Babe. We were meant to be together. That's what you need to realize, and what you need to stop doubting. Don't doubt in a St. James. Besides," His smile spread into a smirk. "Hudson can't hurt me. If he did… let's just say I have insurance in high places."

"That doesn't even make any sense," Rachel tried to keep her face stern, but only ended up giggling. She knew how rich Jesse's family was, and was not surprised by this at all.

"So? It's only true. You have nothing to worry about. Trust me, okay?"

Rachel sat up, looking back at him. Her warm brown eyes studied him carefully, even though he had one of his most unreadable showfaces on. He was great at masking his emotions. "I should probably take a shower. I don't want to take one alone, though."

Jesse knew well enough that Rachel wasn't asking to be intimate. He wasn't planning on pushing her, either; he had learned enough from his previous experiences that she simply wasn't ready. He had enough self-control for one shower.

Truthfully, Rachel was afraid to let Jesse out of her sight. She was working hard to gain back the trust and proximity the couple once shared, and she was not one to give up easily. If it meant revealing herself to him in a shower, she would do it.

Dragging herself away from her thoughts, Rachel stood up, pulling Jesse with her. She led him to the bathroom, where they both silently undressed, eyes never leaving one another.

Jesse leaned against the wall, a small smirk playing on his face. As Rachel turned on the water, he spent a large amount of time admiring her in her full beauty. He knew she was gorgeous, but he could have never imagined it this degree.

Rachel felt his eyes on her and instantly turned red.

"You're beautiful, you know," Jesse murmured, sensing her discomfort.

"As you've told me many times, Jesse." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious," Jesse wore an amused look on his face, his eyes glittering. "I don't think you realize it. You've never had anybody look at you the way I do."

"You're incredibly cocky, Jesse St. James." She giggled lightly, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the shower.

Rachel instantly relaxed the second the warm water hit her skin, instinctively curling close to Jesse. He admired the way she could trust him so easily, given everything they had been through in the past year.

"You're really tense," He said quietly, rubbing her shoulders gently. "Rough week"

"Very. Everybody hates me a little bit more now. I mean, I suppose it's okay since I have you, but…" She trailed off, glancing up at him. "Your hair is very, very sexy when it's wet."

"My hair is always sexy, darling." He smirked as she reached up to play with it, her small hands running through his wet curls. "And don't think you can get away with this. I want to know about school."

Rachel wasn't surprised at Jesse's persistence. As she knew, years of training in Vocal Adrenaline prepared him for anything, including being thrown off topic by a certain girlfriend. She smiled at the thought. "We'll finish talking tonight, okay? I want to enjoy this moment with you now."

"Understandable." Jesse's eyes were shining as he looked down at her. He had never felt so strongly for a girl in his life, and he had a massive track record. She was special; he wouldn't let her slip through his fingers any longer.

"I didn't feel this… safe with Finn. I always thought he would run off at any minute, and I'm Rachel Barbra Berry. The superstar. I can't have boys cheating on me."

Jesse laughed. "You have an ego to match mine, Ms. Berry."

"That's why we love each other!"

"I know."

Rachel was quiet for a moment. "I'm going to find a way for my teammates to accept you, no matter what it takes. It's very silly that I'm being defied because I'm dating you."

"They don't have to like me. It won't effect out relationship in the least. I understand that you should be welcomed, don't get me wrong, but… nothing can come between us. Not Hudson, not anybody. I swear I'll never leave you."

Rachel hugged Jesse tightly in response, sniffling. "You're perfect, Jesse. I'm so glad you came back."

He smiled and hugged her back, content on staying in the embrace all night.

"I'm not leaving anytime soon."

**So. Fluff. Yeah. I need to work on a plot. **

**I'll be back with a new chapter soon. **

**Please review!**

**Hugs and butterfly kisses, Jaclyn**


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